I should eat Indian Food more often. There is a man in the aforementioned country, who hit two major milestones: Just turned 96, and just had a bouncing baby boy! His wife, who is 52(and having a kid at that age is still a feat), gave birth to his son, making him the oldest dad on record.
Funniest line in the article, is that according to him, his wife “wants it all night long, but for the needs of the child, they have to put their personal needs aside”.
You don’t generally hear about this stuff, especially so close to Canada. In Minnesota, a Meth Head takes a bump, and drives home. Cops pull her over because she is all over the road. They bust her on the spot for having a controlled substance (Apparently they found the blue stuff on her). So she sits in a jail cell, and as a routine, the drug sniffing dogs come around. One takes a fancy to her crotch. Nothing new in the dog world, except these are highly trained dogs. If they sniff your crotch, something is up. Oh and something was up, up her vagina. 17 grams of Meth and a pipe.
Then the dog started sniffing the other dogs butt. You do NOT want to know…
As if I needed another reason to hate Kentucky. This is my one allowed pervy news post. A former Bengals cheerleader turned teacher just plead guilty to banging a 17 year old student (male). What?! Are you KIDDING me? She was a PROFESSIONAL cheerleader and she chooses some pimply-faced dork from a high school. Ok I am sure he was stud, I mean he has to be right? She wouldn’t be into tall nerds, you don’t think? Nah of course not. I mean I had no chance with the regular cheerleaders in my school, and all of whom were forgettable.
The only thing that helps me sleep at night is that this is probably the peak for this kid. How can you top this? I mean seriously. This is every kids fantasy. I, on the other hand, am on the upswing (probability would dictate). Although phrases like “probability would dictate” will ensure a deep down slide in my chances (probability would dictate).
This man is infinitely more of a man than I, although technically I have 200% more balls. A British Rugby player, Paul Wood (Real name), got his eggs scrambled by a knee in the waning moments of hte first half. This tough MFer came back in and finished the game (even though they lost). He then had his smashed ball surgically removed. He has a wife and two kids, thank God, but I am sure he had a lot more planned for the little guy. The good news is the remaining ball now has a two bedroom apartment. He will appreciate the space.
When you get old, you start to realize that cool things are happening and you are not a part of them. In this case, it is literal. In the UK, it is a common practice to use liquid Nitrogen to freeze glasses, etc. in bars. For those of you who don’t know, liquid Nitrogen is really, really, really, really REALLY cold. I won’t bore you with details (-197 degrees Celsius), but practically it is used to remove warts, and to cryogenicly preserve body parts (like heads and such). In a very ironic twist, an 18 year old drank some in a mixed drink, which “burned” holes in the lining. She was rushed to the hospital and had her stomach removed!
No word on whether the stomach was stored for science.