Wait what? How…I mean…huh? Are you serious?

As if I needed another reason to hate Kentucky.  This is my one allowed pervy news post.  A former Bengals cheerleader turned teacher just plead guilty to banging a 17 year old student (male).  What?! Are you KIDDING me?  She was a PROFESSIONAL cheerleader and she chooses some pimply-faced dork from a high school.  Ok I am sure he was stud, I mean he has to be right?  She wouldn’t be into tall nerds, you don’t think?  Nah of course not.  I mean I had no chance with the regular cheerleaders in my school, and all of whom were forgettable.

The only thing that helps me sleep at night is that this is probably the peak for this kid.  How can you top this?  I mean seriously. This is every kids fantasy.  I, on the other hand, am on the upswing (probability would dictate).  Although phrases like “probability would dictate” will ensure a deep down slide in my chances (probability would dictate).