Category Archives: Strange Human Conditions

Neo-Polio *Update*

by funklord

As I reported in my last post, there is a strange disease afflicting young people in California that is reminiscent of Polio.  The latest to get it is a little boy names Lucian.  This is the first case in Southern California.  This poor kid had an ear infection at 11 months.  It progressed to the point where now doctors say he won’t be able to use his legs.  This is insane!  Where are all these weird diseases coming from?  How and why is this spreading?  The sad part is that doctors are absolutely clueless.

 

A World of Superheroes

by funklord

What do The Hulk, Doc Samson, She-Hulk, The Abomination, Spiderman, Daredevil, The Fantastic Four, The Leader,  (Have I listed EVERY Marvel superhero yet?) and a Supernova burst have in common?  They are all defined by Gamma Radiation.

Scientists are monitoring Supernova GRB 130427A and the amount and frequency of its gamma radiation release is changing the way we think about collapsed massive stars.  Turns out, it has shot more Gamma Radiation at the earth than any other supernova in history!  If you like astrophysics, comic books, or life on this earth, you should make sure to read this article.

Given the obvious opportunity to become an instant bad ass with a minimum, albeit random downside,  be on the lookout for super-powered scientists in the next 3-6 months, provided we aren’t all granted with heightened senses and super-strength.

The Passing Age of Centenarians 4/2/13

by funklord

America lost its oldest living person in Elise Thompson.  She was born April 5th, 1899.  She was one of 14 people still alive on the planet who were born in the 19th century.

Here is what is weird:  When I was in school, my psychology teacher talked about death, and that for some reason, men die right after major milestones, while women die right before.  I think there were theories, but no definitive answer.  Elise died on March 21st, 15 days before her 114th birthday.

With her passing, she gives the mantle of Oldest American to Jeralean Talley, who doubles as the oldest black person on the planet as well.  She is still behind Japan’s Jiroemon Kimura at 115 years of age.

You don’t have a tapeworm. That’s only in your head

by funklord

Would you rather have brain cancer, or a Tapeworm?  Answer seems obvious right?  What if when trying to remove a tumor, your doctor instead discovers a huge tapeworm sucking the brain juice out of your Medulla Oblongata?!

That’s what happened to Australian rocker Jay Whalley.  He had headaches, seizures, the whole bit.  He goes to a doctor, they go into his skull and find a massive tapeworm in there, all curled up and cozy.  This source?  Apparently he contracted it from an infected person a few years ago.  apparently they can’t withstand the stomach, so the eggs end up in the muscles, and remain there, dormant and nun-harmful UNLESS they end up in your eyes or brain.  Usually these are found in pork.  Oh and this guy?  He’s a vegetarian.

Sometimes it’s LITERALLY like life is set up like a casino:  You only win if the house lets you.  At least it didn’t look like this guy.

STD (Seniors Transmiting Disease) Update

by funklord

What did I tell you!  Seniors are catching STD’s at a rapid rate, and here are the numbers.  I am only posting this because I just mentioned this phenomenon like a week ago.  I do not have an unhealthy fascination with the sexual practices and disease spreading of the elderly.  I do hope to catch that mental disorder, when I am in my 60’s though.

What I think is amazing,  is that in our youth obsessed culture, you can have a happy love life at the end of your life.  Thanks to technological advancements the retirement home is like college, now complete with all the risks of promiscuity.  This is a tale of hope!  Sex can continue long after God designed us to stop trying.