Stylish Slugs

 

Two_Banana_Slugs

I know everyone has their favorite slug.  Hell ever since Vincent Vega donned the UC Santa Cruz shirt in Pulp Fiction, mine has been the Banana Slug (See Above Picture).  I just thought they were a bold choice as a college mascot, second only to the Golden Gophers.   I got to see one of these critters in real life on my first visit to The Mystery Spot in Santa Cruz.  They are HUGE for slugs!  I was used to caterpillars, snails, earthworms, and the like.  The typical link-shaped squirmy creature.  I had a mini, albeit masculine, freakout when I first saw these guys.  They really look like living bananas, much like a Walking Stick looks like a stick with legs.  And man, do they stick to concrete.

Anyway I digress.  You can imagine my disappointment/excitement when a cooler, and much more flamboyant slug was discovered in the mountains of Australia:

Giant-Fluorescent-Pink-Slugs-Discovered-in-Australia

It is truly, bigger, stronger, faster, and more stylish than the lame California slug.

Not to nerd out too much, but the one amazing thing about both of these species is that they are both found in very small regions of the world, on opposite ends of the earth (almost exactly).  Brothers?  Cousins?  Former Lovers?  All are possible scenarios.

You don’t have a tapeworm. That’s only in your head

Would you rather have brain cancer, or a Tapeworm?  Answer seems obvious right?  What if when trying to remove a tumor, your doctor instead discovers a huge tapeworm sucking the brain juice out of your Medulla Oblongata?!

That’s what happened to Australian rocker Jay Whalley.  He had headaches, seizures, the whole bit.  He goes to a doctor, they go into his skull and find a massive tapeworm in there, all curled up and cozy.  This source?  Apparently he contracted it from an infected person a few years ago.  apparently they can’t withstand the stomach, so the eggs end up in the muscles, and remain there, dormant and nun-harmful UNLESS they end up in your eyes or brain.  Usually these are found in pork.  Oh and this guy?  He’s a vegetarian.

Sometimes it’s LITERALLY like life is set up like a casino:  You only win if the house lets you.  At least it didn’t look like this guy.

The Grungy Girl Gang Act 4: The Heist (AKA The Bungle Down Under)

And the movie keeps writing itself.  In Queensland Australia, a pair of wannabe thieves performed a heist worthy of Oceans 11.  They broke into a toilet behind a series of shops, and they diagrammed a tunnel clearly inspired by the great Wile E. Coyote.  The intention was to land safely and unannounced in the back room of an independent jewelery store.  The pair burrowed under the strip of stores, and they they broke through the floor, they robbed the place…except that these mathematicians ended up in the KFC next door.  Undeterred and wanting to make the most of the opportunity, they robbed that place and its customers of 2600 dollars, as well as an 8 piece meal with mashed potatoes and a biscuit.

What makes this story insane to me is that this was the third robbery attempt THAT DAY!  They had previously tried, unsuccessfully,  breaking the front store window with spark plugs.  After that, they tried coming in through the back but ended up in an animal charity.  Not ones to miss an opportunity, they stole the donation box worth a whopping 50 bucks.

Bungling Robber seems to be a full time job in Australia, as opposed to Police Officer, which seems to be operating on a strictly volunteer basis.