Tag Archives: Popcorn Lung

I’ve got some Sandy in my throat

by funklord

There is now a third reported illness that is afflicting the residents of Staten Island in the wake of Hurricane Sandy:  The Sandy Cough.  Despite its name, this is not a beach related sickness.  In fact, I think the news is running out of things to report on, and have literally just made this up out of thin air. Now don’t get me wrong, I think this is a real thing, caused by all the mold, debris, and microscopic bits or crap in the air.  I have relatives and friends in NY and I want to see them rebuild more than anything.  I am just saying that the NEWS people are totally fabricating stories.  This “Sandy Cough” is really just a rehash of the “Far Rockaway Cough” I reported on a few weeks ago.   Not just a rehash mind you, but they directly plagiarized themselves!  I don’t use exclamation marks unless I mean it.   How uncreative do you have to be?  I mean they couldn’t even find a sexy name to call it (Like the Hurricane Hack, the Staten Island Sibilate, or the Extreme Wind-Caused Wheeze).  Those are all Trademarked BTW.

In truth I think all of these respiratory diseases may have all derived from Popcorn Lung.  One more illness in NY and I will have to make a countdown list.

Popcorn Lung? That’s too silly a name for something serious.

by funklord

Popcorn Lung.  The savoriest of all afflictions.  Yes it’s real.  Apparently if you inhale the artificial butter flavoring (Diacetyl) for long enough (in this case, it was 3 times a day for ten years), you can collapse your lungs around 50%.  We are talking about incidental inhalation during consumption (eating).  This is CRAZY!  How can something so dangerous (harmful) make it past food trials?

The reason this made the news is because the man afflicted successfully sued for 7 million dollars. He took these three companies to court:  Gilster-Mary Lee Corp., and Dillon Companies Inc., (the manufacturer) and The Kroger Co. (The supermarket).  You know what tastes the same but is will not cause lung cancer?  Buttered Popcorn flavored Jelly Bellys.  Those things are amazing.

Anyway, guess I have to do an update:

1.  Pertussis – “Whooping Cough”
2.  Fatal rash caused by staph infection
3.  “Flesh Eating Bacteria”, also a staph infection
4.  The Bubonic Plague
5.  Ebola
6.  Capnocytophaga – Woman lost hands and feet from dog saliva
7.  Untreatable Gonorrhea
8.  Kid died from a brain destroying ameoba, found in a lake
9.  West Nile Virus
10.  Hantavirus
11.  Rabies
12.  Typhus
13.  Legionnaires Disease
14.  New Jersey Superbug
15.  Popcorn Lung