I’ve got some Sandy in my throat

There is now a third reported illness that is afflicting the residents of Staten Island in the wake of Hurricane Sandy:  The Sandy Cough.  Despite its name, this is not a beach related sickness.  In fact, I think the news is running out of things to report on, and have literally just made this up out of thin air. Now don’t get me wrong, I think this is a real thing, caused by all the mold, debris, and microscopic bits or crap in the air.  I have relatives and friends in NY and I want to see them rebuild more than anything.  I am just saying that the NEWS people are totally fabricating stories.  This “Sandy Cough” is really just a rehash of the “Far Rockaway Cough” I reported on a few weeks ago.   Not just a rehash mind you, but they directly plagiarized themselves!  I don’t use exclamation marks unless I mean it.   How uncreative do you have to be?  I mean they couldn’t even find a sexy name to call it (Like the Hurricane Hack, the Staten Island Sibilate, or the Extreme Wind-Caused Wheeze).  Those are all Trademarked BTW.

In truth I think all of these respiratory diseases may have all derived from Popcorn Lung.  One more illness in NY and I will have to make a countdown list.