Italy out of Pizza (makers)!

by funklord

If you thought our economy was bad, listen to this:  Italy is out of Pizza Makers.  This is not a joke:  Italy is pondering the procurement of prominent pizza preparers from the Philippines.  I know they are the center of an economic collapse, but so are we!  We have plenty of hot dog makers, burger flippers, and apple pie makers.  As a matter of fact, almost everyone who graduates high school in out country, thanks to our educational system, is fully qualified to operate a McDonalds burger grill.  Take that Italia!

Apparently in Italy, their spoiled youth want a 6 hour a day desk job, and DO NOT want to learn how to do that cool thing where they take a ball of dough, and flip it into the air in a circle. You know what I’m talking about?  They spin it like a plate in the air to make the crust uniformly circle by harnessing the power of centrifugal force and gravity?  It’s very technical.  They usually do it in all the windows of pizza places, especially in movies and TV shows.  Anyway, I think this is a travesty.  To add an additional topping to that crap pie for 1.75, they are outsourcing the job!  They are taking applications from Bangladesh, Ukraine, and Egypt!  They are going to HATE the daily commute.

Bird flu becoming Mammal Flu part deux

by funklord

I have been thinking about his situation, not really sure how to respond.  I am totally on the fence.  The facts that are being presented are this:  There is a new strain of Avian Flu that is concerning China.  So much, that they are calling in experts from around the globe.  The medical term is N7N9.  Here are the numbers as of today:  13 deaths, in 41 known cases.  41 cases?  That hardly seems like a freak out number.  Not only that, but according to the latest articles, this Flu shows no sign of going from human to human.

As you can read, the typical irrational behavior is occurring, killing several thousands birds, and the refusal to eat chicken.  I do understand the precaution, however KFC is a little upset that this concern is cutting into their bottom line (that is a true story).

The United States pharmaceutical industry is already seeing the money signs.  They are hard at work on a vaccine.

The real problem in my eyes is that a Chinese Colonel is implicating the US as the culprit, in what they are calling a pre-meditated biological attack.  I don’t know if that is true, but I am pretty sure neither does he.

One of two scenarios is true:

1.  This is a WAY bigger problem then they are letting on, and China has a history of hiding extremely problematic situations.  The fact that they would bring in outside help for a few deaths seems like there is something MUCH bigger here.  We should totally worry

OR

2.  This is totally a bogus and overly sensationalized story.  This will be similar to the 2009 Avian Flu (Part 1) scare.  What was the death toll on that exactly?  Significantly less than the regular flu, which kills several thousand people each season. They had a vaccine ready, and the pharmaceutical companies made a killing.

As of right now I think this is totally concocted, but that may change.

New Jersey Zombie-ish behavior

by funklord

And now in New Jersey, it has been uncovered that a baseball hazing ritual looks more like a Haitian Voodoo ritual.  It consists of holding down the new recruits and biting them about the neck area, breaking the skin.  The news report, found here, calls this vampiric, but I think we can agree this is more akin to the zombie attacks that are sweeping the nation.

Houston Zombie-ish behavior

by funklord

A woman in Houston got into a fight with her sister, and bites her arm, then chomps down on her nose and rips it off!  This really happened.  To add to the lunacy, the article goes into detail about the settlement, where the woman got 5 years probation, and was ordered by a court to give write a formal apology to her sister.  Did I mention this happened to her SISTER?!

I have a really hard time taking this at face value.  All the other “Zombie” like stories are between two people who either don;t know each other, or who have some sort of general tie.  These two were sisters, and she literally BIT her nose off!  THey don’t even go into detail what they were fighting over. Even Mike Tyson had a reason.

I should also mention that the actual incident happened LAST YEAR, right around all the other zombie like attacks.  This article is just about the legal fallout.

Mark my words, there is something more here, and we at the Funk Freedom Press will get the scoop.

The Passing Age of Centenarians 4/2/13

by funklord

America lost its oldest living person in Elise Thompson.  She was born April 5th, 1899.  She was one of 14 people still alive on the planet who were born in the 19th century.

Here is what is weird:  When I was in school, my psychology teacher talked about death, and that for some reason, men die right after major milestones, while women die right before.  I think there were theories, but no definitive answer.  Elise died on March 21st, 15 days before her 114th birthday.

With her passing, she gives the mantle of Oldest American to Jeralean Talley, who doubles as the oldest black person on the planet as well.  She is still behind Japan’s Jiroemon Kimura at 115 years of age.