The 2013 Flu? BOOO!

by funklord

We are a week into the new year, and it looks like my it’s time for a new Disease Countdown (as well as a conspiracy Theory).

The 2013 OFFICIAL Disease Countdown

1.  The 2012-2013 Flu

Yes the Flu ladies and gentleman.  You remember the Swine Flu of seasons past?  The one that was so bad that nothing happened?  Every (smart) person said that more people die each year from the regular Flu?  Then they made a new vaccine (that didn’t work) and fearing for their lives, everyone took it?  Yeah well it turns out the regular Flu is one Bad Mutha (shut yo mouth…when you cough), and worse than any of the predictions for Swine Flu.

3,000 people hospitalized, and 18 kids dead in the last 3 months.  They have pushed this Flu Shot more than any other season.  Why?  And I don’t even understand the concept of a Flu Shot.  When I was a kid, I remember that people taking Flu shots was rare.  Usually it was kids and the elderly, or those with weak immune systems.  In the past 5 years it is now almost mandatory (socially) to take one of these things with a lot of companies shouldering the financial burden for their employees. The shot also available in every drugstore.  Did you know that the Flu shot is the ONLY shot in America that contains BOTH Mercury and Formaldehyde?  For what?  These “preservatives” don’t make it last longer.

This I do not understand either:  apparently 127 MILLION doses were distributed this season, from 15 million produced.  How does that math make sense?!  Are they watering these things down (with Mercury derivatives and Formaldehyde)?  127 MILLION people vaccinated is about 40% of the entire US population, and yet this is one of the worst seasons in the past decade according to the CDC?  25% of the people infected too the vaccine?  That doesn’t seem like a great success rate.

You know what is a great Flu preventative?  Washing our hands and maintaining your personal immune system:  Lots of sleep, fruits and vegetables, and limited stress.

-Dr. Funk Lourd

The Grungy Girl Gang Act 4: The Heist (AKA The Bungle Down Under)

by funklord

And the movie keeps writing itself.  In Queensland Australia, a pair of wannabe thieves performed a heist worthy of Oceans 11.  They broke into a toilet behind a series of shops, and they diagrammed a tunnel clearly inspired by the great Wile E. Coyote.  The intention was to land safely and unannounced in the back room of an independent jewelery store.  The pair burrowed under the strip of stores, and they they broke through the floor, they robbed the place…except that these mathematicians ended up in the KFC next door.  Undeterred and wanting to make the most of the opportunity, they robbed that place and its customers of 2600 dollars, as well as an 8 piece meal with mashed potatoes and a biscuit.

What makes this story insane to me is that this was the third robbery attempt THAT DAY!  They had previously tried, unsuccessfully,  breaking the front store window with spark plugs.  After that, they tried coming in through the back but ended up in an animal charity.  Not ones to miss an opportunity, they stole the donation box worth a whopping 50 bucks.

Bungling Robber seems to be a full time job in Australia, as opposed to Police Officer, which seems to be operating on a strictly volunteer basis.

Iran’s Fukushima (Real Name: Isfahan)

by funklord

This one is bad.  According to news sources, the city of Isfahan in Iran is being evacuated due to “pollution”.  “Why is this troubling” you ask?  Well, it turns out this is one of the sites housing Iran’s secret nuclear program.  While there have been pollution problems in the past, evacuating the city because of excess smoke seems like overkill, unless the pollution is radioactive gas leaking from a cracked underground reactor.  That is the speculation at this point, and it is not unfounded.  In November, several workers were taken to specialized medical facilities, showing signs consistent with radioactive exposure.  Iran officially denied that this had anything to do with a radiation leak.  Uh huh.  Oh one more thing, this facility has been targeted by unknowns because of it being a nuclear facility, and there are satellite images of explosions.  You think there might be structural damage?

In related news, this nuclear facility sits on an extremely active fault line, so it’s literally only a matter of time until there is an event like Japan’s Fukushima disaster, minus the water to cool it down (temporarily).

The *Almost* Zombie Apocalypse: The Plague Ship Part 2 – It happened again!

by funklord

You might remember the original article about a contaminated crew ship, and it looks like it happened again.  On The Queen Mary 2, several people came down with what the experts are saying is a Norovirus, which has come on strong this flu season.  Hundreds of passengers fell sick.  Most simply self-quarantined, and basically shat their 4,700 dollar ticket far down the toilet.

I think my list requires a serious update:

1.  Pertussis – “Whooping Cough”
2.  Fatal rash caused by staph infection
3.  “Flesh Eating Bacteria”, also a staph infection
4.  The Bubonic Plague
5.  Ebola
6.  Capnocytophaga – Woman lost hands and feet from dog saliva
7.  Untreatable Gonorrhea
8.  Kid died from a brain destroying ameoba, found in a lake
9.  West Nile Virus
10.  Hantavirus
11.  Rabies
12.  Typhus
13.  Legionnaires Disease
14.  New Jersey Superbug
15.  Popcorn Lung
16.  Saudi Arabian SARS
17.  Spinal Meningitis (Caused by fungus)
18.  Brain Eating Amoebas (in Pakistan)
19.  San Quentin Chicken Pox
20.  The Far Rockaway Cough, and the various NY Sandy related diseases
21.  The Excessive Norovirus

This is a pretty intense list for 5 months of serious tracking, and there are still 2 more days left in this year!

One For The Ages

by funklord

So it looks like I’m slipping.  This is one of my favorite subjects to follow, I have been following for years, and I totally blew it.  Dina Manfredini, the worlds oldest person, died in her sleep on December 17th, at the ripe old age of 115.  She held the title for 13 days, having been declared the world’s oldest person by Guinness on December 4th with the passing of Besse Cooper.  Dina’s passing not only hands the mantel over to a non-US citizen for the first time in years, but has ignited a firestorm of cinematic proportions.

China Vs. Japan.  The conflicts these two countries have produced are legendary, but it can be argued that none is older than this one. Japan’s Jiroemon Kimura is officially the world’s oldest person (and man) according to Guinness, BUT Chinese agencies are reporting (and we all know how reliable those are) that Luo Meizhen is the champion with a birth date in 1885, making her 127 years old.  If this is true, she would be the oldest person to EVER have lived (since records of this sort have been kept) besting a french woman at 122 years of age.

What i think is funny is that over the past few years the title has changed very often, given the fragile state of people in this advanced stage of life, and China has said NOTHING.  The last time was a mere 13 days ago!  But when a Japanese person claims the championship, then China suddenly speaks up.  Seems suspiciously timed.

One of the articles I read said that they don’t know how aggressively China is going to fight this, but that Japan should be careful.  I would like to second that, given the dire situation of the Fukishima plant, and the massive empty cities China has at the ready.