Add one more to the ever growing list of diseases ravaging the population, albeit the prison system. San Quentin is in medical lockdown after several inmates came down with the childhood disease. The prison system is worse than college as far as spreading of disease goes. Small living spaces, close quarters for eating, exposure to bodily fluids (blood from shiv attacks, prison rapings, etc.) I am actually shocked that this hasn’t happened to a prison before. More disease breaking out on the west coast.
Author Archives: funklord
Zombie Apocalypse: Day 156
This zombies story DOES NOT contain police officers or nakedness, although it does involve the Medical Examiners office and cadavers (which are naked). The NYC Medical Examiner’s office just got busted confiscating BRAINS! I am not kidding you. How many? In the past 8 years, 7,700 brains were taken. Why? No one knows (I assume for eating). The conjecture is they were doing experiments on them. The worst part of this story is that the ME never asked the parents/family’s permission. The report says that the brains ranged from fetuses (SICK) to a 99 year old. The entire article is here.
If Vampires can get jobs at blood banks, why can’t zombies/ghouls get jobs at a medical examiners office?
Halleluiah it’s raining sharks!
In So Cal, a 2 foot LIVE leopard shark fell out of the sky, and onto the San Juan Capistrano golf course. For anyone who has read Revelations and been keeping up with the news, this should come as no surprise. The incredible part of this story is that the workers rushed the shark into the clubhouse (no small feat), and cooked up some homemade salt water. They kept the shark alive, and one of the workers, on his break (because no 1 percenter is going to allow time off to save another living thing) DROVE the shark to the ocean and let it go. It sank to the bottom, twitched, and then swam off. How amazing is that?
The belief is that a large bird (like a peregrine) probably grabbed it out of the water, and lost a grip on it over the golf course. Why it didn’t go back for it is a mystery.
Zombie Apocalypse: Day 152 *Ghoul edition*
Okay, this is getting CRAZY! I have no idea why these stories are coming out before Halloween, but this one is the most bizarre thus far. It has some of the hallmarks I mentioned earlier.
1. It involves a police officer –
A NYPD officer, Gilberto Valle, led a crazy double life as an honest to God ghoul. Wife, kid, Bulldog puppy, this guy was like a 50’s American stereotype…from a David Lynch film. Turns out he had plans to kidnap, drug, and eat 100 women. His wife found the records/blueprints on his computer. I am shocked he didn’t eat her.
2. Drug induced rage –
This part is not EXACTLY like the others, in that he himself was not on drugs (or so I don’t think). Instead his plan was to drug women, put them in the oven, slow cook them, and/or sell the extras. He had plans to sell his second victim to an unnamed buyer for 5 large (5 thousand dollars).
3. Naked –
All the women were to be slow-cooked, naked obviously, and kept alive as long as possible.
4. Eating people/animals
Oh, right, this one. A NYPD POLICE OFFICER WAS PLANNING ON KIDNAPPING VARIOUS WOMEN, COOKING THEM, AND EATING THEM!
Seriously, what is happening to society? This is weird right? I am not the only person who thinks this is totally scary am I? Anyone?
Cat HIV?
This story is really important for a number of reasons. Allow me to summarize: A very nice boyfriend was trying to fly out his GF’s cat to her in Taiwan. The man & cat were flying out of JFK in NYC. The cat was/is 4 years old, and she hasn’t seen the little guy in 10 months. He’s going along, slides the cat over to the bumbling idiot club, also known as the TSA. They mishandle the carrier, the cat gets out, and no one can find him. These are the guys tasked with keeping us safer at airports? The couldn’t keep a ham sandwich safe at a vegetarian’s house. BEST part is: They blamed the guy for the debacle! The official release said that the agent did everything properly, and that passengers are responsible for pets at all times. That is so ridiculous I don’t even know where to begin. Oh and it gets better. Turns out that the cat has some form of Cat HIV! I don’t think it transfers to humans, otherwise it would have to go on my Disease Countdown board. Needless to say (my specialty) the cat won’t live long without it’s medications and close monitoring.
Not the first time this crap has happened at JFK. A cat names Jack was lost for 66 days, and eventually had to be put down.