First it was the Fleshing-Eating bacteria, and now this.  Apparently UK scientists have discovered a common parasite that apparently lives on contact lenses and gnaws through your eyeballs, causing vision problems, and even blindness. It’s found in dust, pool water, and even tap water. Contacts have been around for decades, why is this just now being discovered? IT EATS YOUR EYEBALLS! That’s just insane.
Here is the CDC’s official website on the parasite.
Anyone who knows The Funklord, knows he love AC/DC. Thunderstruck is pound for pound their most electrifying song. Highway to Hell also rocks, and was an important part of my youth. I love passion. It is what most people lack, and what all of us are seeking. It makes us all feel alive! I am passionate about making the Funk Freedom Press your GO TO source for weird important news and commentary.  Unfortunately I am no Joyce Coffey. This New Hampshire woman (State Motto “Live Free or Die) got arrested 4 times in 26 hours for blasting Highway to Hell. That’s once every 6 and a half hours. Not even a full work day. Not cited, not ticketed, not warned ARRESTED! Brought downtown, booked, mugshotted (yes that’s a word), and probably held on bail for a little while. A very wise judge suggested she use headphones.
Oh and she threw a frying pan at her nephew. I think we all assumed that part.
*Alt title: Hit with a frying pan, and into the Hellfire. Thought that was too long*
In Australia, a woman was implanted with a real bionic eye, just like Steve Austin (Not Stone Cold #3:16). It works by stimulating the retina, and that stimulation creates an image in the brain. It has to be calibrated to make sure what the person is seeing is actually there. This has several uses besides sight. You could make just about anything appear I imagine. Could you hack into the eye and make the person go on a simulated acid trip?
One funny note, and I am not making this up, the technology was tested on blind three mice first. I don’t know how involved the farmer’s wife was in the overall process.
This story is incredible. Apparently a British boy was walking along the beach and found *gag*, sorry about that. He found and picked up…*gag*, found a chunk of whale vomit on the beach. Why this kid decided to pick it up, I have no idea, but what a find. Apparently this stuff, called Ambergris (yes it has a proper name), is used to prolong perfume scents and it ridiculously expensive and rare.
I know he is the luckiest kid ever, but why is he holding the blown chunk so close to his face? It’s unnecessarily unsanitary.
Getting this stuff proves dangerous as well. This woman almost gets eaten while looking that quick cash.
A Montana man was struck and killed on a highway pretending to be Bigfoot. If that doesn’t deserve a Darwin award, I don’t know what does. This fool had on a sniper-like outfit, and was trying to provoke people into calling in a Bigfoot sighting. While doing this, he was struck by a 15 year old, and a 17 year old driving to school. Let’s ignore the fact that a 15 year old was driving. Now, because of this idiot, two High School girls have to live with the fact that they accidentally killed a man. I could spend hours trying to convince them they did the world a favor, but that is not going to change their lives from this point on.
I am not one to wish harm on others, not am I happy this happened. I think Karma had a part to play. While I do not take Bigfoot seriously, others do. It is moronic hoaxers like this that ruin, and muddy the waters for people who take these subjects seriously and want to get to the bottom of the mysteries of the world.