What an article to come back to from a small hiatus.  I am sure you remember my immortal post This Week in Genitalia from this time last year.  In it I profiled the benefits of castration, and I debuted a little devil called the Pacu, which is an invasive species of fish that was biting peoples testicles off in Illinois.  This fish had TEETH.  Like really real teeth.

So today, I am sitting in the offices of the Funk Freedom Press, and Freelance reporter Larry Love of Video Expressions tosses me this news piece of the notorious nut nibbler.  Apparently this guy has made his way to New Jersey.  It looks like people are buying these feminist jerks and when they get too big, they are dumping them off in the first waist-high lake they can find.   It was in that article that I learned that these teethy fellows evolved a full set of teeth to crack into tree nuts, which is what they eat in their natural habitat.   It seems their eyesight isn’t so great, as they are mistaking men’s nuts for tree nuts.  Honest mistake.