I am always on the hunt for the next big thing film-wise.  Okay that’s not true at all, but you have to say it to maintain your D-Bag street cred in Hollywood (and no one appreciated their street cred as much as The Funklord).  The latest Hollywood blockbuster in the making comes to us from Sarasota, Florida.  There, a group of 4 female burglars have been terrorizing medicine cabinets for weeks.  They got caught, mostly because they are TERRIBLE burglars.  Now this story would be an instant success if the following were true:

1.  They were hot (which unfortunately they are not).  This is fixable with the right casting.

2.  They were into Cocaine or some high society drug.  They are not.  It says they were “abused prescription pills” which may be code for Meth.  Not sexy at all, although they make it look pretty damn cool in Breaking Bad.  Again, fixable.

3.  They were any good AT ALL!  While they didn’t get caught for a while, they did always leave very obvious signs of their presence (A’ La the Sticky Bandits in Home Alone 2).  They even robbed a place that had a 5 year old inside!  Even I know you have to case the joint first.  Still, with the right screenwriter, this is fixable.

While there are some serious flaws in this story, I am sure this will be in the trades early tomorrow (I know Nikki Finke reads this blog).  If so, you heard it here first (my finders fee is 12%).