I will try to refrain from all the obvious comments.  In Kentucky, due to unknown reasons, thousands of birds have made Hopkinsville their home.  Much like the movie, they are attacking citizens, pooping everywhere, and basically terrorizing the town.  So what did the town do?  They hired a guy to take care of the problem.  This pro decided it would be a good idea to blast large bottle rocket type incendiaries at the trees, scaring the birds who then leave…and land on the nearest tree without a maniac shooting large bottle rockets at them.

Here is the twist the FFP has become famous for:  Other that being a general nuisance, these birds crap.  A LOT.  The bird droppings can cause a fungal disease called histoplasmosis.  It is dangerous to humans with compromised immune systems, and it’s fatal to dogs!  The poop lands on the soil, thus contaminating it.  It can take years for the soil to become healthy again.  It can be cured in dogs, but its expensive and takes months.