The Strange Chinese Desert

by funklord

If you haven’t read my article on the strange Chinese ghost towns that litter the China desert, you should catch up immediately.  If you have, well then this is an update for you.  It turns out, thanks to good ole Google Maps, and people with absolutely nothing constructive to do, a NEW Chinese structure has been found in the Kashgar desert.  It is described as containing “Extensive structures that are big and funny looking”, and apparently the entire place “went up in a big hurry”.  No one has a clue what the ^%@# this place is for.

I think it is safe to say this is Apple’s newest iPod factory?

The Grungy Girl Gang Act 5 – The Actual Movie

by funklord

I totally called it.  I have just been alerted by a Hollywood insider, and avid fan of the site, that my treatment for The Grungy Girl Gang has indeed been made by MTV!  Oh, there are a few differences than what I have been pitching you guys for the past few months.  That’s okay, what prolific writer hasn’t had to make a few concessions for the opportunity to make their Opus right?

First of all, I had to change the name to Spring Breakers.  NBD there.  Next?  A few casting changes to appeal to a younger demographic.   Fine.  Now things are starting to go a little off course, but I can right the sails.  I will make it up to Kristen.  Ok ready to shoot?  Nope.  One more quick thing, we cut out all the hijinks, and replaced it with 4 SUPER SEXY criminals, a lot of sex, and we’ve replaced all the jokes with sexual intercourse.  We did, however, get James Franco.   That’s fine, I like sex, sexy girls, and sexual intercourse. plus James Franco is okay.  Who is watching comedies these days anyway right?  Now can we start shooting?  Just one more small thing:  We are cutting you completely out.

Now that, I expected.

The End.

South Carolina Unintended Fish Fest

by funklord

A South Carolina news agency is reporting a massive fish die-off on their coast.  The news report basically just stated the species (Menhaden) and that their oil is used for lipstick.  No mention of any possible causes, nor the biological impact of thousands of fish suddenly disappearing from the living biomass.  Just the yusue. NBD.

Then I did little digging.  Turns out, this isn’t the only die-off THIS WEEK!  About 7 days ago, a very similar die-off happened, same spot, same fish.  The cause was supposedly “Cold Water Stress”.  Hmmmmm.  Oh, and similar things are happening in Massachusetts, Arkansas, Brazil, and New Zealand.  The excuses are all the same, and are really just speculation.  No one seems to know.  Cold Water, Algae, Oxygen Deprivation.  If you remember your High School Chemistry, Cold Water absorbs MORE oxygen then how water.  An explosion of algae, or some other organism that requires large amounts of O2 wo survive could account for that, but the fact is no one knows.

And there’s more!  Not only are there massive fish dying off, but a large number of birds are simply dropping dead out of the sky in Sweden.  This is where it gets REALLY weird.  Forensics were done on the birds, and you know what the medical staff say?  The birds died from “sudden, hard external blows“.  From what?!  Speculation abound, but no real answers.  This sounds really familiar.  Oh that’s right.  Before the days of the FFP, I was printing out articles on weird crap just for fun (now I do it for the avid readers).  This story stuck out, because it was literally a scene from the show Flashforward.

Oh and just one more thing.  A similar incident happened in Louisiana, near Labarre that New Years Eve.  Why is all this stuff happening in the same general geographical location, around the same time of year?

What Are The Consequences of One Man Farting *UPDATE*

by funklord

Whether it was due to pressure created from the popularity of the original FFP post, or if this came down from the White House itself, the  man accused of gaseous malfeasance, which became a felony under the Federal Farting, Flatulence and Excessive Fragrance statute, had a minor victory at the end of last year.  It turns out that once senior management of the SSA got a whiff of the official reprimand, they agreed the decision stunk, and the passed gas didn’t pass muster.  The SSA officially rescinded warning, thus setting a precedent that negatively  effects cube dwellers from all over the corporate landscape.

Los Roques Rectangle

by funklord

When The Funkster was just a lil tyke, I was fascinated with all things weird.  Ghosts, Bigfoot, my nocturnal vampire neighbors (I guess all vampires are nocturnal).  At the top of that list, was The Bermuda Triangle.  For those of you who don’t know, it is basically a triangle shaped section of the south Atlantic, created by connecting Bermuda, Puerto Rico, and the southern tip of Florida.  Catch up on the very skeptical Wiki article here.  Nonetheless, crazy things have happened to planes, ships, etc., that fly through the area, most of them vanishing without a trace.  Large storm clouds, time warps, and geo-magnetic anomalies are often sighted as the root causes for the disappearances.  Besides the eternal Milton Bradley board game version, this phenomenon has mostly vanished from pop culture, much like so many travelers into it’s mysterious waters.

Flash forward to today and the Los Roques islands off the coast of Venezuela.  Most recently an Italian Fashion mogul Vittorio Missoni disappeared with several passengers in a small plane over this “cursed” area.  I remember hearing about this happening, but as totally unaware of the other disappearances that have occurred over the past decade.  15 mysterious disappearances, the most prominent was in 2008 where a ship carrying 14 people vanished without a trace.  The only thing found was the dead body of the co-pilot.  To this day, no ship has been recovered.