This story is incredible.  In Washington, a wakeboarder (no idea) was well I guess wakeboarding when his fingers got caught in a towline loop.  He struggled to get them out before the boat gunned it and failed.  He looks down at his hand and sees 4 bloody stumps where his fingers used to be.  No pain, he insists.  I feel like I would have handled that situation the exact same way.

So fast forward weeks.  A mild-mannered woman, catches a bunch of fish and takes them home to clean.  While doing that, she discovers a finger in the fishes stomach!  She calls the cops, they fingerprint it, and of course it’s the wakeboarders (I think it’s something like water skiing).  They offer him the finger (no seriously) and he says “Nah, I’m good” (Thank god).  Then the cop goes on about how well preserved the fingers are, given that when you are in the tub for 20 minutes they get all pruney.  That’s a good call I say.

Good think she didn’t catch a Pacu.  It would have been spaghetti and meatballs for dinner.