*RETRACTION* Zombie Apocalype Day 150

Okay, every now and then the FFP makes a small mistake, but we have the integrity to set the record straight.  Yesterday I posted a story about a woman who eats soap and goes after police officers.  Well this more detailed version just came out, and it connects some of the loose ends the previous version left hanging out there.

Basically this woman had been driving crazy all day, crashes into the Medical Center.  Police confront her but she refuses to roll down her window.  This causes one officer to break the rear window with his baton, injuring himself.  Then she gets free and drives right at another officer, who then shoots at the car.  The bullet doesn’t kill her, but it causes her to careen off and crash.  They arrest her on the spot.

The soap eating part apparently WAS true.

So while this DOES NOT confirm the spread of a rage inducing, zombie-like virus, it is STILL pretty damn weird.

Zombie Apocalypse: Day 150

It’s news articles like these that are either just terribly written news pieces, absolutely devoid of any journalistic ability OR cover-ups for genuine weird crap that is happening out in the world.  Odds are it’s probably the first (unfortunately) but let’s say it is the second.  If that is the case, then just what the smell is this?

Let me attempt to review the highlights of this story:

1.  A woman is in custody after ramming her car into another car outside Bethesda Naval Medical.

2.  An officer (yep another police officer) shoots at this woman, no reason given.  I can’t imagine that crashing into another car warrants shooting a woman.  I got hit today by an idiot, and I didn’t even flash the piece much less fire on the fool.

3.  On top of shooting at her, he hurt himself going after her with a baton.  They don’t even mention anything happening to the woman.  This means either the cops kept that part out of the papers OR she was impervious to physical damage.

4.  The woman was seen eating a bar of soap.

There is NOTHING about this story that makes sense.  It falls into the category I am labeling Zombie Apocalypse because while I don’t think she is a member of the living dead, she is either on drugs, pharmaceuticals, Bath Salts. LSD, or whatever they are blaming these sorts of attacks on.  I mean what is different about the last few stories I have reported on, versus a real movie-like zombie attack?  Something weird is happening, and it is happening at an accelerated pace.

Zombie Apocalypse: Day 149

If this doesn’t stink of police cover-up, I don’t know what does.  This is a zombie attack, plain and simple.  Let’s review the facts over the past month:

Fact #1

October 9th, a University of Alabama student supposedly drops LSD, strips naked, and attacks two people in a car, tries to bite a woman’s arm, pounds on the police glass where an officer confronts him.  Witnesses say that the man, Gil Coller, slowly approaches the officer, who backs up several times before shooting Gil in the chest.

Fact #2

On October 21st in Tampa Florida, an irrational naked woman goes up to two officers at a “social gathering”.  Apparently she had a weapon.  Details are sketchy, but she is also shot dead. Keep in mind this is not far from where the infamous “bath Salts” zombie was shot on a highway.

Fact #3

Also on the 21st of October, in San Fransisco the police were called to investigate two supposedly “drug fueled” individuals setting fire to a house.  The two men were found naked (see a theme here?) and destroying the windows, as if they were trying to get to something inside.  One of the men had a rifle, and the police used this as reason to shoot the men dead.  During their investigation, they found a blood trail that lead to the backyard where they found 3 decapitated birds.  I would imagine they were partially eaten.  One of the neighbors was interviewed, and said it was like his normal neighbor had just “gone crazy” for no reason.

A few things strike me:  1.  They were all naked.  2.  They tried to eat living animals/humans, 3.  The reason is always drugs of some kind.  This seems convenient since to the common person who doesn’t take drugs, it would seem totally believable that they would make you do insane things, and 4.  they were all going after police, and shot by police.  What if police hadn’t been there?  What if they had targeted someone else?  Why police?  Is there a new drug that is truly making people hate clothes and crave human flesh?  This is all way too weird to ignore.

Zombie Apocalypse Day 122: Attack of the Zombees

Ok, the title is a little misleading I will admit first and foremost.  This is NOT a story about little insects that have died, and were reanimated in some way (radiation, evil demonic spell, toxic waste, you’ve seen the movies) who have a sudden urge to eat brains.  If that WAS the case, I see two scenarios taking place.

1.  If the bees flew into your ears and slowly ate your brains from within (really bad for us)
OR
2.  They go after other bees, and eat THEIR brains (or whatever passes for brains in the insect world).

*Before I get a crazy amount of E-mails defending the intelligence of the Honey Bee, I want to say that I love Bees.  I eat honey almost every day.  I appreciate their talents with pollen.  I take pollen and I sneeze, but they turn it into sticky golden deliciousness.  I also recognize that as far as insects go, bees have to be(e) the SMARTEST of the insect world.  They have one (1) stinger to defend themselves.  One.  They don’t have the semi-automatic stinger of the Wasp.  They get one shot at it, then they die so they have to REALLY think things over.  If you start swatting at one, they have to think about all the angles.  “Will he hit me, and if so, will I survive it?  Will he just walk away or is this shit going to get serious?  Am I ready to die for this today?”  Some pretty heavy stuff.

So back to this amazing article.  So apparently there is a fly that is preying on bees.  This monster jumps on the bees back, and injects its eggs into their stomachs, and the larva eat the bee from within and burst out when they are big enough, ALIEN style!  Crazy right!  They are called “Zombie Bees” because while this is going on, the bees (which sleep at night) are up at all hours, flying erratically, and just dropping dead.  The fuss is that this fly, native to North America, has never attacked bees before, and this may be contributing to Colony Collapse Disorder.  If you don’t know what that is, or don’t think it is serious, look at some of the recent work of Linda Moulton-Howe.

Zombie Apocalypse Day 115: Training Day

This article is what dreams are made of.  The security firm HALO will host zombie themed event in San Diego, designed to educate on disaster-scenarios, at the annual counter-terrorism summit.  All of the major government contractors, and private security firms will be there.  I mean they are pulling out all the stops for this thing.  They are hiring a specialty firm, Strategic Operations, Inc. to create the real life scenarios involving Zombies, Hollywood style.  I wonder how much tickets are…