Category Archives: Humorous

A World of Superheroes

by funklord

What do The Hulk, Doc Samson, She-Hulk, The Abomination, Spiderman, Daredevil, The Fantastic Four, The Leader,  (Have I listed EVERY Marvel superhero yet?) and a Supernova burst have in common?  They are all defined by Gamma Radiation.

Scientists are monitoring Supernova GRB 130427A and the amount and frequency of its gamma radiation release is changing the way we think about collapsed massive stars.  Turns out, it has shot more Gamma Radiation at the earth than any other supernova in history!  If you like astrophysics, comic books, or life on this earth, you should make sure to read this article.

Given the obvious opportunity to become an instant bad ass with a minimum, albeit random downside,  be on the lookout for super-powered scientists in the next 3-6 months, provided we aren’t all granted with heightened senses and super-strength.

Machismo is Universal

by funklord

If this story doesn’t prove that, nothing does.  Two eagles in Minnesota got into a fight over territory.  These two cowboys played interlocked talons so deeply, they were unable to fly.  They played chicken (pun intended) all the way to the ground, with each refusing to let go of the other.  Remarkable they were fine.  A wildlife expert wrangled them in the back of her pickup.  During the transfer back to the wild, one got up and bailed, leaving the other one.  The driver heard him shout “And Stay Out!”.

To a woman, this seems really stupid, but as a man I toooootally get this.  It’s hardwired into out DNA.

Italy out of Pizza (makers)!

by funklord

If you thought our economy was bad, listen to this:  Italy is out of Pizza Makers.  This is not a joke:  Italy is pondering the procurement of prominent pizza preparers from the Philippines.  I know they are the center of an economic collapse, but so are we!  We have plenty of hot dog makers, burger flippers, and apple pie makers.  As a matter of fact, almost everyone who graduates high school in out country, thanks to our educational system, is fully qualified to operate a McDonalds burger grill.  Take that Italia!

Apparently in Italy, their spoiled youth want a 6 hour a day desk job, and DO NOT want to learn how to do that cool thing where they take a ball of dough, and flip it into the air in a circle. You know what I’m talking about?  They spin it like a plate in the air to make the crust uniformly circle by harnessing the power of centrifugal force and gravity?  It’s very technical.  They usually do it in all the windows of pizza places, especially in movies and TV shows.  Anyway, I think this is a travesty.  To add an additional topping to that crap pie for 1.75, they are outsourcing the job!  They are taking applications from Bangladesh, Ukraine, and Egypt!  They are going to HATE the daily commute.

And _______ was his name O

by funklord

What do you think would elicit 90 days in the clink?  Domestic violence?  Multiple DUI Charges?  Killing a baby?  Yelling BINGO in a crowded bingo hall?  If you said “all of these” you are of genius level intelligence (This is opinion, not fact).

In my latest and ongoing attack on our most useless state Kentucky, A 18 year-old prankster yelled “BINGO” in a PACKED house of old ladies.  Now if you have ever been to Bingo with your grandma (I have), then you are completely aware of how absolutely HILARIOUS this is.  Nothing is more comical than old ladies screaming and cursing at you.  This, however, is where the hilarity ends.

A cop cuffs him, tossed him into the back of a cruiser, and he gets 90 days in jail, and a 250 dollar fine!  Not only that, he is not allowed to say the word BINGO for 6 months!  This is truly insane.  How did the cop know  the kid wasn’t a farmer who had a dog, and it just HAPPENED that Bingo was his name-o?  He didn’t know, he didn’t even ask!  That’s just shoddy investigative police work.  Not to be dramatic, but how is the ACLU not involved?  This is extreme over reaching of government.   I am glad this is making national headlines on the FFP.
This is similar to the “Yelling ‘Fire!’ in a crowded theater” argument, while it is not protected under Free Speech, I hardly think this deserves criminal prosecution.   Since this cop clearly has nothing to do, maybe they should send him to Sacramento CA or Camden NJ.

The Greatest Story Ever Stole(n)

by funklord

Crazy story.  A waitress loses her wallet while out with some pals.  She knows someone has grabbed it because checks get written in her name, credit cards used, etc.,  two weeks of hell.  You finally get everything cancelled, and get life back on track.  You go to work, and four teenagers get seated in your area.  Nothing particularly noteworthy, except that one of the girls orders a margarita.  Seems young, but with medical procedures these days who knows.  She asks her for an ID.  The girl reaches into her wallet and pulls out her drivers license.   The waitress takes a look at it and realized it’s HER STOLEN ID!    BUSTED

This is where she totally impresses me.  She calmly walks back, calls the police, and pretends like everything is cool until they get there.  How great would that be?!  If my identity had been compromised, OH MY GOD would it feel awesome to know I had that A-hole dead to rights.  Just sitting there, smirking, drinking his appletini, yucking it up.  All the while knowing his days were numbered, that he would soon be behind bars.  Well not necessarily behind bars, but maybe arrested IN the bar, then forced to pay back the charges along with the fines.  No real jail time to speak of, possibly some community service, etc.  Yeah that would be nice….

Read the story here.